In-Laws, Outlaws and Offspring

Way out yonder past the glow of an old

Small town in the middle of nowhere

You can drive half an hour from the highway

And you’ll be halfway there

You won’t hear a sound
Till you get right around

Five miles from the property

And you can pretty much deduce
Where all hell breaks loose

You’re gonna find my family

One hundred people scattered through

Some dozen rooms we rent
And whoever can’t deal with their mother-in-law
Is free to bring a tent
We don’t care particularly where

We camp from year to year

We just need a lake, a kitchen,
And some coolers full of beer

At some fifteen-year-old joke
Sittin’ around the campfire
Or lightin’ up a smoke

All in all, it’s all just a big ol’ gathering
Of in-laws, out-laws and offspring

Some of us like to scrapbook
And some stick to our guitars
We know we ain’t good
But we’re not scared of those who are
Now I must confess
There’s craziness
When this family re-unites
‘Cause we have a ball, but Lord save us all
On karaoke night

In a pair of cutoff jeans
And an old reunion t-shirt
From, like, 1993

All in all, it’s all just a big ol’ gathering
Of in-laws, out-laws and offspring

Once you smell those cinnamon rolls

Bakin’ in the oven

You’d best proceed with caution

If you’re not at least a cousin

A few of us get bossy

Some like to rave and rant
We don’t pay much mind to uncles,
But you don’t mess with our aunts…

And everyone keeps laughin’
At some fifteen-year-old joke
Sittin’ around the campfire
And lightin’ up a smoke

All in all, it’s all just a big ol’ gathering
Of in-laws, out-laws and offspring